Christian Counseling for Children

Introduction A child may simply be described as a person who has not attained the age of majority; however, the age limit for one to become a major differs depending on the location. In most cases, minors fall under the age of eighteen in most countries, thus children are generally humans in this age bracket.Advertising We will write a custom research paper sample on Christian Counseling for Children specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More Children normally go through different issues in their life, thus it is important to take them through counseling in order to allow them lead an easy life as they head to the age of the majority. The issues children go through may be either severe or simple, but none should be neglected. They should be taken through counseling regularly to enable them be open whenever they have problems and to avoid instances of buildup of negative conditions to a position that may be hard to reverse. Christian counsel ing for children strives to facilitate the building of a healthy and loving family for children by basing their teachings on the bible and being deeply rooted to the Christian principles. This is because the family is the foundation of the society and every person in the family may be going through different and difficult challenges. Children may suffer in a family as result of trouble in marriage, death of a parent, relocation of the family or many other issues requiring the attention of a counselor. The primary counselor to any child is the parent. Therefore, the parent should first be equipped with Christian values in order to be able to deliver to the child. They should first be role models to the children and they should counsel them regularly. Apart from the parent, the church and the learning institutions play a very important role in taking the children through Christian counseling. These institutions should have professional Christian counselors who can understand the child ren easily and facilitate a free and open environment where children can share their entire problem without fear. Nevertheless, the parent and the institutional counselors should stay close to the children in order to take the required action in case a child is going through an acute problem. Raising children in a Christian manner When Christian parents are raising their children, it is very important to base their endeavors in the word of God. The best example of a role model in the bible to children is Jesus Christ. In Luke 2:52, we are told that, he â€Å"grew in wisdom and stature, in favor with God and man† (Bible gateway, 2010). It is the duty of every parent to ensure that he introduces his children in church early enough in order to be taken through Christian teaching because this is the only place the child can imitate the lifestyle of Jesus Christ. Jesus parents, Mary and Joseph were God-fearing people and they took Jesus to the house of God early enough and this is where he learnt to live a Godly life. Though Jesus was the son of God, his lifestyle was quite a good example to the children and the parents who are after Christian parenting.Advertising Looking for research paper on religion theology? Let's see if we can help you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More The bible says in the book of proverbs that parents should not keep the whip down or should not stop disciplining their children until they are responsible over their lives. This is a good direction for the parents, showing that it is Godly to correct children when they do wrong. However, staying with the whip does not mean that children should be beaten over each and every mistake they make, rather, it means that the parents should not watch over their children doing wrong without cautioning them. Parents should watch over their children keenly, love them, and ensure that they do the right thing at the right time. Furthermore, it is only important for the pare nts to do their part while allowing God to do the rest through prayers. This is possible through showing children the importance of Christian teachings right from church, home and even in the society in general (Bible gateway, 2010). Children grow in stages and parents should understand each stage and the kind of counseling required as at that stage. For instance, the way a parent should handle kids below the age of twelve should be different from that of teenagers as well as for the young adults in their early twenties. Nevertheless, each stage needs attention and counseling because it is associated with its own challenges. Right from the beginning when the child is young, a Christian parent should facilitate creativity instead of passive consumption. The parents should allow children to come up with something out of some materials provided, instead of providing readymade items. For instance, giving them space to create their own items by offering them items such as paint and paper , empty crates, mud, nails, lumber etc instead of buying them fancy playhouses in the departmental stores. Still, it is important to introduce the issue of the real world to the children right from the beginning in order for them to understand what is happening around the world. This is because it has been noted that the reason as to why many young adults are unable to change the world is that they know nothing about the world (Sinclair Stewart, 1992, pg 12). Children do not remain young forever, but a time comes when they are teenagers, when they can see the reality of life. Parents should cultivate openness with their children right from childhood so that when they enter in to the teenage stage, it can be easy to reason together with them and help them to understand why things have to be the way they are. The teenage stage is associated with a lot of peer pressure whereby they start comparing their families with those of their friends and may question most of the things they used to adopt easily in the past. At this stage, it becomes very challenging for the teens to balance between their subcultures and that of the church.Advertising We will write a custom research paper sample on Christian Counseling for Children specifically for you for only $16.05 $11/page Learn More In this case, the parent should ensure that there is sufficient communication with the teens to make them understand what it means to be a Christian in the world, and to prevent them from peer influence (Sinclair Stewart, 1992, pg 17). How to keep a close relationship with the children Naturally, parents have a passionate love for their children, which is important and every kid deserves to have parental love. However, parents should be careful on how they express love to their children to ensure that they give them unlimited love while ensuring that they do not overprotect, overindulge, or over control the kids because this is unhealthy (Clinton Sibcy, 2006) . In the book of Romans, the bible says that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, as they are saved from the sufferings emanating from the sins they committed, more given that every person is a sinner and it is only through repentance that such sins are forgiven. This verse helps the parent to understand that everyone is prone to mistakes and they can be guilty at one point or the other of how they handle their children by wondering whether they are doing it the right way or not. As the parents relate with their kids, it is important to ask God for guidance by telling him where they need help and relying upon His mercies and grace. They should also pray for your children to lead a Godly life and to change in case they are leading a life that is not worthy. In addition, they should reflect on issues in their life that may be making them express love to their kids in unhealthy way and allow God to shape the lives of their kids (Clinton Sibcy, 2006). Parents shou ld avoid overprotecting their children; however, they should allow them to be accountable and responsible over the consequences of their decisions. Often, kids should be left to take care of the tasks they can do, and help with house chores regularly. In addition, parents should not lie about anything to their kids but should encourage them to learn through real-life challenges, solving problems arising from their own issues and learning from disappointments. Parents should give their children enough freedom while constantly praying for them and asking God for wisdom. Moreover, children should be taught that there is joy from the grace of God, and they should be encouraged to learn the spiritual lessons of the situations they may be going through (Clinton Sibcy, 2006). Parents should neither give-in easily to what their kids want, nor should they bribe them to cooperate with them; they should always teach them the value of hard work and teach them to obtain their wants on their own . Kids should know that its good to have wants but a person must not acquire everything he wants. In addition, parents should keenly supervise their kids while maintaining healthy boundaries and ensure that they only praise them when they have worked for it.Advertising Looking for research paper on religion theology? Let's see if we can help you! Get your first paper with 15% OFF Learn More This will motivate the kids to word hard and will avoid overindulging them. When making decisions, parents should not only consider what their kids want, but also their own feelings in order to know what and when to compromise. The children should be taught that gifts are privileges but not entitlements, thus they should appreciate whenever they receive as gift (Clinton Sibcy, 2006). Most parents are used to acting so formally to their children by constantly lecturing, critiquing, or pushing them. Handling children this way, prevents them from expressing themselves fully to the parents and it may be hard for the parent to know when his children are going through difficulties or stress. Parents should regularly spend ample time with their children playing and enjoying life while giving them opportunities to explore their own interests in order to merge the distance that may be between them. Furthermore, parents should ask God to nurture their relationship with their children, which will lead to effective and free communication. They should always assure the kids that their love for them is unconditional and should not withhold their love for them when they do wrong. As parents give their children unlimited love, it is always important to put in place boundaries between them and the child. Boundaries direct the guardian to understand the right time to accept or reject the actions or words of a child in order to hold the child to take control of his/her life as he/she grows up. This is because children are born without boundaries and if a parent fails to teach them, then they develop the attitude of looking at what parents do for them as their rights or entitlements rather than privileges. However, boundaries should not limit the love of a parent to children but only help to teach the child have good character. This ensures that the child is motivated to live a long righteous life before God and people (Cloud, Townsend Guest, 1998). Why children need counseling Children go through different challenges in life, which require them to be guided through in order to make the right decisions in life. Some people think that childhood is an easy and carefree lifestyle, but children do go through challenges and may have stress at one point or the other in their life. For instance, during times such as divorce, relocation, death in a family, among others, the child goes through times of confusion that require the attention of a counselor. In this case, Christian counseling plays the most vital role in helping children overcome such issues while basing the idea from the word of God. When a child goes through major changes, he/she needs time to adjust with the support of the parents and the family in general. Such changes may include parents divorce, death in a family, among other things. The changes may at times be too sudden or severe, thus putting the child in a position that requires the attention of a qualified psychotherapist to try and sort ou t the problem. In some cases, some children may find it difficult to share their problems with their parents, relatives or friends because they want to keep the issue as a secret or they may be embarrassed of the situation. In other cases, children may display their problems or stress by acting in manners that cause problems like being violent, being too quiet or withdrawing. In such situations, it is important to involve professional counselors, as they are able to create ample environment that enables the child to share freely without fear (Karuppaswarmy Fall, 2010). There are several reasons that trigger the need for professional counseling for children, some of which are discussed below. The parents or the guardians should keep watch over their children by staying close to them in order to be able to differentiate between the times the child is behaving normally and when he/she is behaving abnormally. This is possible by showing the child love while maintaining the required bou ndaries without overprotecting, overindulging, or over controlling. Some of the signs that may require the attention of a professional counselor may include the following. A kid may display long periods of sadness, whereby attempts to distract the sadness or to make him/her happy do not yield results. In most cases, children do not talk about being sad but they may be acting in a way suggesting that they are sad. For instance, the kid may be crying over small and big issues for long periods without being able to stop. This is a sign that there is something that is wrong with the child that needs to be sorted out (Karuppaswarmy Fall, 2010). When the child is not able to move from a past event, it may be a sign that the child requires a little more attention. When a negative scenario takes place and affects the life of a child, it is understandable if the child talks about it for a while immediately it takes place. However, if the child persists on remembering past events, then the g uardian should take the required measures to help the child go through that without so much effect in his/her life. For instance, the child may keep on talking about issue that took place along time ago e.g. Separation of the parent, death of a loved one like a parent or a sibling, a better lifestyle they had in the past, a place they relocated from among others. The child should be provided with an opportunity to avoid thinking about the past occurrences or events and always think about the present situation or future prospects. If such scenarios persist, it is important to take the child through professional Christian counseling to ensure that he/she faces the reality and forgets about the past (Karuppaswarmy Fall, 2010). Withdrawn behavior is another sign that a child is going through a stressing moment, which he/she may not be able to express verbally. This is evident when the child does not show interest in playing with other children or getting involved in taking part in acti vities that involve many people. The children may seem not to enjoy anything they may be doing, they do not laugh, joke or relax, while in some cases, they seem to stay alone all the time and rarely talk to the other children or the adults (Karuppaswarmy Fall, 2010). If a child was used to saying goodbye to the parents every time before they parted and then changes suddenly, there may be a problem that needs urgent attention. This is evident when a child suddenly changes and starts finding it difficult to saying goodbye, parting with the parent or he/she want to be with the parent all the time. The child may refuse to go to school, and if he/she is in a boarding school; he/she may demand to be taken to a day school or may have problems with the parents going for work. And if they have to part, the child keeps asking about the parent many times as the day goes-by or before they meet again. In addition, if they are staying far apart, the child may fake reasons of going to see the par ent. In other cases, the child may have problems concentrating in class or in any other activity, he/she may be undertaking. The child seems to forget easily or to get distracted from the jobs assigned to them. Their class performance may deteriorate drastically; they may be unable to complete class work and may not be able to follow instructions well. There are times when the child may break from the routine behavior and seem to demonstrate some uncommon practices; for example a child may go back to his/her younger behavior like soiling him/herself, whereas he/she has been toilet trained, sucking the thumb finger, or wanting to be carried whereas they can walk. At times, it gets difficult to predict what and when a child may do something. A child may start oversleeping or may have problems in sleep coupled with nightmares. She may also have problems with eating or start overfeeding. When children change their normal routine, then it is evident that there may be something wrong happ ening in their lives that is far beyond their ability to manage. Conclusion Children are gifts from God and may at times be a challenge to their parents. In Corinthians 12:21, the bible encourages the parents to live with them as they are, as they help them through life through counseling. Raising children in Christian manner is equally not easy in the secular world today. However, the bible says in the book of proverbs 22:6 that ‘Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it’ (Bible gateway, 2010). A Christian parent has the ability to ensure that children are not overwhelmed by the pleasures of the world but have grown in faith. This is only possible through God, without ever ceasing to read the word of God and being a good example to them (Csahm, 2010). References Bible Gateway. (2010). New International Version. Web. Clinton, T. Sibcy, G. (2006). Loving Your Child Too Much: How to Keep a Close Relationship with Your Child without Overindulging, Overprotecting, or over controlling. Integrity publishers. Web. Cloud, H., Townsend, J. Guest, L. (1998). Boundaries with kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives. CA: Zondervan. Csahm. (2010). Challenges of Raising Christian Children. Web. Karuppaswarmy, N. Fall, J. (2010). Does the Child Need Counseling? Web. Sinclair, D. Stewart, Y. (1992). Christian parenting: raising children in the real world. Ontario: Westminster. This research paper on Christian Counseling for Children was written and submitted by user Callen Dale to help you with your own studies. You are free to use it for research and reference purposes in order to write your own paper; however, you must cite it accordingly. You can donate your paper here.